I am a middle aged man. I am not a teenager. I have been here before. I have walked through this particular hell many years ago. The sleepless nights. Meaningless days. The blurred passing of time. I should know how to handle this better. But alas, I don’t.
I got tired of trying to convince her just how much I loved her.
I got tired of trying to convince her that my friends didn’t hate her.
I didn’t know how to reassure her.
So I lost her.
Her mind doesn’t work the same as mine does. I know the truth of it all, but she wouldn’t take my word. She didn’t trust me enough to take me at my word.
Oh, how I love her still. God knows I always will. But I can’t go back. I fight with myself everyday. But I can’t go back. I have gone back before when she tossed me away, and she said I wasn’t even to blame. I kept going back.
She is stubborn and strong willed and she never will come to me again.
An unbending tree, an unwilling mind.
I am dead to her, and she thinks she knows why, her mind creates theories, that I just can’t fight. So I lost her.
Nothing I do, and nothing I’ve done can prove how I love her. Nothing I say, and nothing I write can convince her that I adore her. So she’s gone.
and I lost her.
© Brian Anthony Del Piano / ItalianBrian and Opinions and Rants, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Brian A. Del Piano and Opinions and Rants with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.